Freak City Soundtrack

I turned 28^th just two weeks ago. What’s so special on my B’day? January 31^st is Wednesday, and it’s like other ordinary Wednesday. So I getting old now and I remembered my old pal, Jipel used to said to me, “We’re almost there, (in the late 20s) and still like this”. What his trying to tell me is as our age almost reaches 30, we (my friends and I) still act like 20s. Hang around, went to coffee shop or snooker’s together. While some of us, haha, ok, I should say that most of us (since they’re already married) taking care of their wife or children, and we still fooling around most of time.

As far as I remembered, I always spent my January 31^st alone. Alone means, at that time I don’t have someone that I can share my happiness with. Does it sound too pathetic? I have no idea. But when I turned 27 just one year ago, I also spent by myself alone. Maybe if I’m not mistaken, it was just few days of my life in Korea at that time. But even alone, I’m trying to enjoy. It doesn’t matter whether it works or not. At least, I felt that my birthday is a day of thankfulness. Thanks for everything, up to now, He still giving me a chance to live and to see so many wonderful places.

If I can ask one wish to Him, I am expecting to share my time someday when I turn 29^th with someone that I can rely on. Or maybe it will be just perfect if I wouldn’t hear any news that can break my heart. Haha, I can hear some of you are laughing at me now. Damned, I’m too sentimental. Does it because I’m listening dozens of love songs? Or is it because I just feeling blue?

Ok now let’s talk something else. Can I ask you something? Does some of you still keep contact with your ex-girlfriend/boyfriend? Well I do. It doesn’t mean that I frequently contact them, but in my case, they’re good friends of mine now. Sometimes one’s or twice a year, we send email or just do some chit-chat, or just share some news. Even we’re not seeing each others, but it doesn’t mean that they’re my enemy since we’re not couples anymore. I’m neither a wise man nor a perfect guy, but since I saw many of us hated our ex-girlfriends, if possible I could tell you that don’t hate them. Keep contact each other, keep your friendship on. I think there are no religions in the world that suggest us to break a friendship right?

So my birthday only two weeks away, I think is not too late for you to treat me lunch /dinner or send me a present. I will receive with my open arms and surely delighted. In the other hand, I also want to send my truly deep empathy to my brothers and sisters who suffer from mighty flood in Jakarta. Even natural disaster keep happened more often, but I believe our country, Indonesia may became a great one someday.

“Yes, it will all be there, just as intensely and tenaciously alive as ever all there a thousand years hence, five thousand, ten. You have only to stroll through Shanghai to be certain of it. London and Paris offer no such certainty”. (Aldous Huxley, from his diary, 1926)

Hi, Ni Hao? Here I am, sittin’ in the lobby of one of Shanghai’s most glamorous hotels in the 1930s. Yup, I’m in Shanghai now, is quite late at night and I still can’t close my eyes even after I spent whole day sightseeing this fascinating city.

What brings me to Shanghai? It was begun early summer, when my friends and I organized to see The Shanghai Formula One Grand Prix Series. As my self, I really looking forward to come to this city, bcoz I always amazed how Shanghai became the most metropolises, skyscrapers, fascinating, also one of developed city in Asia. I kept listen, saw, and read how Shanghai city grew. One of my other reason is Shanghai is much more Hong Kong than Beijing, which actually visitors won’t get the Great Wall or dusty imperial palaces. This is China’s modern portal on the 21^st century where modern-day travelers come to catch glimpses of the new People’s Republic.

Shall I continue my story, so after we finally cancel our trip to Shanghai on October, I made a big plan for my self. I should see Shanghai before I leave Korea. It’s been mentioned also in my 2007 resolutions. Yes, I will travel by myself even no body wants to join me. So I booked the hotel and ticket airplane one month before. Thank God now I‘m living in holy-technology, which just a click of my finger, and I google’up everything, I found bunch of hotels in Shanghai. I decided to choose this hotel because is just few blocks away from the Bund, the most impressive mile in Shanghai. A boastful reinder of the city’s cosmopolitan and decadent heyday, it’s the first place to which all visitors to Shanghai gravitate. The hotel architect, interior and exterior in addition to their historical stories in 1930s, has made my self confidence to choose this hotel as my shelter for my staying in Shanghai.

It is required a Chinese visa to go to Shanghai, and I went to Chinese Embassy at Seoul. Interestingly, maybe I will write more details how Chinese Embassy made everything’s easy to everyone who wants to visit their country. It’s so easy and it doesn’t take long time. Oh Gosh, I shouldn’t compare with how our customs treat foreigners in my beloved country.

When I came to Shanghai, I was quite shocked to see their Pudong International Airport. Especially, after I finished with my luggage, I went out and waited for a bus. Again, I compare with Incheon International Airport in Korea, so different. In my opinion, Pudong is much dirtier than Incheon. And sorry, I don’t ment to offense you guys, but in Pudong, I found difficulties to ask someone that can explain me how to get to my hotel. Although I printed the hotel map, it still hard for me because none of them speak English !! Well, ok even you can’t speak English, at least you can show me the way right? That’s what they did in Incheon, but in Pudong, wow, I promise they were not very helpful. After sometimes, I decided to take a cab. Indeed, it’s so much cheaper if you can find an airport bus.

What can you expected when you sitting in a taxi and the driver can only speak Chinese? Haha, I just sit still and took my pocket cybershot, capturing the beautiful city of Shanghai. I arrived at the hotel one hour later. After I put my belongings to the hotel, I started my journey by walking and reading my favorite books, Shanghai – City Guide which is published by Lonely Planet. My only preparartion before I came to this city is just this book and camera. I really recommend you that if you want to travel, you may find this Lonely Planet that have many city guides for all over the world. It is very useful and thanks to this book because it lead’s me to see the most beautiful places that I really wanted. And also these books described all the details clearly.

My first impressions of just couple hours in this city is, this city has hundreds skyscrapers and unfortunately you may not see the original Chinese. I mean, it’s quite difficult to see the Chinese temple or palace. Shanghai it’s too modern for it. In the other hand, I saw many American’s, British and other imperialism countries brands all over the place. The capitalism has covered this city, lots !

Very interesting place, but I still have to discover more. This only few of my stories, while, I’m going to write more soon…

Ciao.

After all the screaming, fireworks, fiesta, millions people, beer, live music, joy, and whatsoever the name is, when we celebrated the new year recently, we faced back our live, set new resolution, try to rise a new hope and everything looks just brand new.

As myself, I set up a 17 goals as my 2007 new year resolution. Don’t you think is quite a lot? Well I do have 16 goals as for my 2006 resolution though. And thank God, I made it through some of them.

This year is quite different for me, I will go back to my real world in couple of months, I will face different tasks, not a homework or term paper anymore, but a task from my boss who is more challenging, risky, and I promise it will be more difficult to be solved. I should prepare myself though; I should restart my whole life again, still as a same person but maybe different personality. I have to be able to finish and doing whatever my boss will give me in the office, also satisfied him/her too.

Some of my friends waved goodbye to me already, they went back and continue their live in the real world. I do communicate with them, still, and sometimes it is difficult to realize that they were not with you anymore.  In coming week, it’s my first anniversary living in Seoul, all those memories and friendship has built a very good relationship among us. We are like brothers and sisters who always help each others in any neither situation nor condition.

Few hours ago, we just had dinner together which is organized by our sponsorship. We had a very good time together. Sometimes I can’t imagine that in few days some of us have to leave us and continue their lives separately. My friend once told me, “In life, which is more likely a rollercoaster, you should be able to face when you were being turn down or going up, happy-sad, hello-goodbye, success-fail, or even health-sick”. And that is true right, whatever you doing now, we never know what will happen in coming 2 seconds, 5 minutes, 10 hours, 1 week, 5 months, 1 year and soon. This is the real life, the real world. One good point that I’m about to say is, we should be able to focus of what we’re doing, otherwise time will kill us and there’s no turn back. So never waste your time. Don’t you guys agree with me?

It was like 2 weeks ago, when I celebrated New Year of 2006. Now, December has almost ends, time goes too fast. I might forget of my resolutions. But there’s nothing left to forgive, because you never turn back time.

2006 may become my best year ever. I finally got what I wanted. I reached what every student and young people dream about. Indeed, I can’t sit and easily satisfied. I should continue dreaming and reach my future goals. As you may know that my presence in this country is to study. But I figured out that there so many things that more precious than that. Friendship!. Hell yeah, having a multinational friends from all over the world is totally new for me. Daily speaking without using my mother language was killing me at the beginning. Language, for some reasons look imponderable. While coming here has opened my eyes that language is one of success key. You may believe it or not, but I do believe now. I abandoned my France language since I failed to continue to the next level. My Hankuk is also less improved (read: failed) for the last 10 months. I have no idea why it is difficult to study language. I keep hearten my self that there’s some people who has given a special ability for learning language since they’re born, which some are not, like I did. My friends always laughing at me, whenever I come-out those reason. They thought that was the only excuse that I had.

Friendship. I have so many good friends here. They have different characters, personalities and cultures. It is very interesting to learn those, or should I called, to understand them. I’m not a smart student at school but thankfully I don’t have to be the smartest one to have many friends. I do have many friends. Both Koreans and Internationals friends. Sometimes I felt sorry for those who were smart but they became nerd which normally facing difficulties on its society. I can’t imagine living alone without friends. We did many things together, no questions how many activities that we had during this year. Yet it is difficult to lose one of them right?
Some of my friends have already gone to their home countries. Some were continuing their dreams. Which some still in school too. All of us have an optimistic and dreams of our future. Nobody wants to become a loser in this freak world. 

The greatest experience of the year is to open my minds. I learned so many things. I open my mind and explore that there are so much things that you can get, if you are willing to try. The opportunity is there, in front of your eyes. Now I believe that anything is possible if you want to try, learn, study or whatever the name is. Be an optimist not pessimist, I kept saying these words in my blog, which is damned true. So, in my opinion a key of success is: (1) eagerness/willpower, (2) optimist, (3) opportunity, (4) chances.

I don’t want to be cocky, I am nothing comparing to you guys,. But believe me, because I used struggled before too. And after you reach goals, always remember when you are in a hard time. So it keeps your spirit alive. Keeps your dream alive friends!!

Did you still remember what dream that you had last night? two night before, or maybe 1 week ago? I’m sure some of you were not. When I woke up in the morning, I used to stay on my bed for few minutes and my mind rewind the dream (if any) that I had last night. If I could memorize, then I used to go deeply on my dreams story. Well it is sounds weird for some of you to understand this, but please let me continue my story.

Somehow, my dreams show me some signs of what might happened in the future. Well you should underline the word of might alright. I don’t have sixth sense either. But it is very often for me when I had a strange dreams (strange means an unusual dreams) like I met someone that I never met for quite sometime, or I dream of my family, my co-workers or even someone that already passed away. I believed that every dream have their own meaning. No doubt about it. So for instance, I will give an example of a dream that I had early of this year. The dream tells about “I’ll fly on a plane to place that no one knew, which I carried my huge suitcase as well”. I asked to my housemaid (who also can interpret a dream very well) about it, and she said that I’ll have some long trip and stay for quite sometime. And you know what, a week after she interpret my dream, I got a phone call that I was accepted to continue my study to abroad. You may believe or not, it is up to you. But it happened to me.

Recently, less than 1 month ago, I had another unusual dream. I dream about my friends, they were couple. Actually, I couldn’t memorize the dream clearly. But they have a long distance relationship afterwards. Few days later I met him and he said that the girl has just left him away. He said that she met with someone and now they’re seeing each other. She explained that she can not wait for him in uncertainty condition. She gave many reasons that he try so hard to understand and accept it. In the other hands, she didn’t give him any chance to explain what went wrong in their relationship. Since she’s already with someone else now, he felt that is so unfair because how easy she can turn to other guy. I felt so sorry for him. She just broke his heart into thousand pieces. He told me that, he thought she will wait for him until he came back to her city, or maybe he just wastes her time away. To wait a guy like him probably is unworthy enough for her.

Now, my friend has lost his spirit to do anything. He looks so depressed. Sometimes I found him stood or sit with an empty eye. I try to support him to forget her at once. There’s nothing he can do if she doesn’t want to continue the relationship anymore. Unfortunately, she didn’t give him any chance to explain the reasons. What I proud with my friend is, no matter how she hurt him so bad and she left him away, he still love her very much and he believe that someday they’re love will meet each other again.

How does it feel like, when you think that you can count on to someone, then he/she just turns it away from you without giving any reason? Or he/she give you reasons but you have to understand and accept it. I believe some of you have ever felt the same like my friend does.

The moral of this story? When you had a dream at night, it might be happen in the future. When someone loves or care to you, please don’t try to hurt their feelings. I know how it feels like. It feels like a dozen of knife was stabbed in to your heart. At the end, please not hurt each other will you, let us make peace/love not hate.

Someone has just splash water to my face. I just realized that as a human being, you can not get whatever you want. You can’t ask or beg, and suddenly your wish came true just like a snap of your finger. And it is difficult to keep on our mind that “positive thinking”, is the only way out.

Actually, after I had my breakfasting this afternoon, I felt so sad and put my self in loneliness. Furthermore, when I raise a high volume for my ‘takbir’ mp3 on my portege, tries to feel like at home (get together with your loves one), I’m deeply felt that I am all alone; coz up to now, nobody cares and remember me. Everyone’s there were enjoying their moment with their loves one, not mine. I said not mine. All by my self, and I should keep that it mind!.

A few minutes ago, I had a chat with a good friend of mine, which gave me a wise suggestion, to end my sorrow: “God gave tons of love, bless and mercy for you, that sometimes we never realized. But we felt that He demerit us most of the time”. It is easy for us to forget Him if we were in happiness and became desperate in a hard time. My good friend of mine said that “If you feel that God has giving everything to you, then it is your turn to share His love, bless and mercy to other people too, so other people can feel the same like you did”. But “If someone hurt you, even though you shared everything for them, then we can feel sorry because they were a kind of people who are less love than us”. Less love means that they don’t have lots of love from their families, friends or relatives. So they can not feel when someone has just shared their love to them. 

I felt like a thunder has hit my head off. You know it is so difficult to always have a positive thinking in any situation. I thought that I always made my self as a positive thinker but the fact is I didn’t. I still have to learn how to resignation my hope/wish every time I had one.

Now, I’m so happy since now is just few hours away from Iedul Mubarak (Hari Raya Idul Fitri), and I got this an outstanding advice that made my head high, again. Today I’m going to have my Iedul Mubarak Pray at our Indonesian Embassy. Hopefully, to see many friends and we celebrate together.

And, for those of you who celebrate Iedul Mubarak, deeply from my heart, I would like to say “Happy Iedul Mubarak, minal aidzin wal faidzin brothers and sisters, May Allah gave mercy to us”

My Professors were so insane now. Even though we had finished our Chusok Holiday (Korean Thanksgiving Holiday) for one week, but there’s no such reason for giving us tons of homework, thick articles and warned for the midterm test in few weeks ahead. I should be worry now. I suppose. But I haven’t started read or try to finish my homework yet. While I prefer to share my opinion about the big issue which came this morning and shocked the world.

It is begun this afternoon. I used to watch a Discovery Channel when I had my breakfasting in our Snack Bar. Unfortunately, a friend of mine set the TV on CNN Channel, which they broadcast about this North Korea Nuclear Test. I don’t pay too much attention to the TV since my chicken nugget and fried tofu well much interesting than those stupid nuclear missiles. But my friends were arguing and discussing about this matters, until I saw in the news that North Korea does launch their nuclear test this morning. I think the world has shocked and the superpower countries warned North Korea to stop what they had done. The impact has showed up as soon as they launched their test. Korean Won and Japan Yen was depreciated. And guess what, our Indonesian Rupiah also depreciated. What in the world? We all knew that Rupiah is so weak with any issues. But if these continue, it will become a serious impact to our economy right? Oops, I’m sorry if you hate what I had written now, but sometimes I would like to discuss and share some serious issues. Well, one of my concern on this issue is, hell yeah, I live in less than 500 km radius of this bloody nuclear missile which I should be so worry as other South Korean does.

I don’t know why, but these past two days, the Seoul weather has became mist and fog. It was started yesterday morning (Sunday), when the fog covered almost Seoul and the temperature is chiller than it used to be. I raised a joke to my friends that some possibilities of this fog are caused by the North Korea radioactive and their nuclear weapons. It looks like some silly jokes. But some of them thought it might be true, because three days ago the weather was so clear and quite hot. Since my friends were smart and outstanding students, my joke has become a serious discussion among us. Off course at this time no more jokes than a political theory is being raised.

While they’re arguing each opinion, my mind was set like this. What if, let say, North Korea launch their missile to Seoul. For sure, it will be a massive chaos. But I was thinking that, maybe if the condition has become awkward and people were panic, so there’s no reason for the school not to suspend/close their activity right? It means no class, no lecture, no problem sets, no homework and no mid/final term. Single-handed I laughed. Then I threw my ‘holiday’ opinion in the middle of our discussion. They were shocked but afterwards we were laughing so hard. Again, they agreed with my opinion. And we continue imagine these possibilities.

Holiday. I just want to finish my study as soon as possible, and if there’s a time I would like to explore Korea as much as possible. I wish. Finally, as our discussions were ended yet, I just hope nothing would happen in Seoul.

Gosh, I missed so much people I loved in my hometown. I hope nothing happen with them as well. May Lord bless and keep our land peace. Amin.

Have you ever been ignored by someone you loved? Maybe many of you never had this experienced before. Mostly, some of your love story ends with happiness, right?

This is a story of another friend of mine from Eastern Europe. He shared his doubtful of a girl that he loved. They were not a couple yet. But they used to have a romantic relationship sometimes ago. He thought, since they already had something in common, it is not necessary to make any relationship among them, until he finished his study.

The story started at the beginning of summer. As usual, he called her at least every 2 days, sends her email every day and chat every night. But recently in some occasions he felt that she became so different. She takes quite some time to reply his mail, or puts ‘a busy’ sign in her messenger. When he called her, she seems to be very difficult or cannot be reached at all.

He was confused why she made him like this. He said it will be much better if she just tell the truth or explain to him. He tried to be very pleased and accept any reasons of. He knew that a long distance relationship is bit risky and need an extra understanding among them. But I told him that not every long distance relationship ends with failure. Some of them were survive and live happy ever after too. Well, anyway, he was so frustrated with this extreme condition.

Let me ask you, if you are frustrated, you might or mostly think negatively right? So I can understand how my friend felt now. I did the same too. If I was in his position now, and thought that with no reasons she ignored me somehow. And that is the most I could say, frustrated moment as a man, is being ignored.

Frankly speaking, I didn’t give him any solutions yet. And actually I am not good at this so called ‘love story consultation’ or whatsoever the name is. But people believe and came to me, hoping some advice of their problems. Sometimes when people came to you shared his/her doubtness, all they need is your attention by listening their stories. They need people to hold on, people who can listen and support them at once. For me, I prefer make them happy and laugh by gave them jokes. Not all of those were succeed, since most of my jokes were not funny at all, but at least I can make them smile. Oh, you never knew how happy I am if they were smiling. That is one of the most prestigious I ever had. I loved to make people smile or laughing. That is what I did.

Smile. For some people, it’s the most difficult things to do. But actually with smiling it reduce your stress and pain. Believe me, you should try. Well at least, you could find some funny sites, watching some sitcoms or if you are lucky enough, spent your night with your friends and forget your problems even for a while. Life will be so precious if you enjoy every moment of. And life is so good.

So, what are you waiting for? Smile and make people smile at you =)

What is your favorite sports? Do you play sports? What position likely for you in soccer? Do you like to win a game? I believe all of you familiar with that kind of questions since you were a kid right, so am I. I’m not a guy who have an athlete body, for some reasons, I’m too skinny. So for me doing sports is number 3 or 4 from my top priority list. It doesn’t mean that I dont like sports at all. I went swimming at least once a month, or trying to excercise my self 3 times a week in a gym, or asked my friends for 3 on 3 in a basket ball court. If you ask me about soccer, my favorite position is as a right defender/right back/right wing back. But if we decided to play a real match, I spent most of the time in a sub bench. Does it sounds shame for me? no, not at all. For me doing sports is not always in the field as a regular player, but you have to feel the spirit even though you were in a bench most of time.

I kinda Formula One freak in the past 10 years (don’t ask me when was the first time I love english premiere league hehe). At that time, I really want to became a speed racer, but then I thought a Formula One driver would be so much prestigious, hell yeah it’s money and chicks. It happened since I watched Formula One series regularly, even when I’m not at home. I never miss the live broadcast from the circuit. Sure, I miss three or four times, but I always watched the replay/recorded race. I always enjoyed my time during the race, just like watching soccer, I screamed and laughed. But what I really love is, I can feel the tension of each drivers.

My school mates knew already that I’m a soccer and formula one freak. They called me with many nick names which I couldn’t memorized. So, mostly they asked me who’s playing tonight, which teams, when is the next formula one race will be held, the player transfers, who win the game last week or last year, how many points does the gap between each clubs, why does those driver can not continue the race and so many questions that sometime makes me laugh coz I looked like a guy who really love sports or maybe TV is much better, rather than a student. If you asked me, do we have any homework, when is our mid/final term, have you finish the problem sets already, than I might make myself speechless.

This afternoon, I made my self perfectly comfortable in our dormitory lounge. Since noone watched the TV, so I had fully controled on this lounge. We had a Formula One race series in Shanghai. And I was in the lounge 1,5 hours already because they have the qualification highlights and news before the race, which is very important for me too. One thing that I like from this live broadcast is their TV commercial. It’s so damn creative and smart. I kept myself thought how people in advertisement could be very intelligent and brilliant invented a slogan or trademarks to their clients. I saw many advertisement/commercials which amazed me. Since this is a Formula One live broadcast, so most of of the commercials were came from oil or car companies.

As Michael Schumacher and Ferrari won the race, and yet my favorite driver and team-Kimi Raikkonen and McLaren Mercedes failed to score points, I still fall in love to this sports. Not only race, tensions, speed, hi-technology, chicks, pride and glory that you can feel, but there were also advertisement/commercials who made you think that how these people dominating the formula one in more than 60 years.

I woke up very late this morning, it’s almost 12 o’clock (it’s noon already hehe).  I took a rush shower and ran to the bus stop in front of my school’s gate. Today is friday, and I only have less than 40 minutes before my friday prayers started in Itaewon. Luckily, I was not alone, I met my Pakistanis and Uzbek’s friends there waited for the bus too. The bus was a bit late today, we waited for 10 minutes and it will took us to the nearest subway station.

The weather was just perfect for me, I have my green hawaiian polo combined with jeans and sneakers. It’s sunny day but quite windy, so when we get off and walked from Itaewon station to the mosque, it doesnt make me sweat like it used to be.

We came just as the preach (Khutbah) started. I try to find an empty space to sit on, yup, I found one near the window and not too far away from the fan. Cool, it’s very convenient for me, so I don’t have to fanned myself.

Since most of the moslems who came were from many countries, so normally the Khutbah was conducted in 2 languages, first part is Korean and second part is English. But sometimes it happens all khutbah was conducted only in Korean, English or Arabic language. And today’s khutbah was brought in Arabic language. I heard the preacher was from Libya. Actually it doesnt matter if the khutbah is conducted in any language coz we still can read the khutbah notes handout after finishing our pray.

After finishing our prayer, you may see many moslems get together, chat and hang-out with their friends from each countries. In my case, I used to say hi and have some chit-chat with my Indonesian friends as well, not only students but also friends from workers (TKI) and the Indonesian Embassy (KBRI).

Let me shortly brief a story about our Indonesian Student Community (PERPIKA : Persatuan Pelajar Indonesia-Korea) is a non-profit organization deals with Indonesian students who study in Korea. PERPIKA has a very close and good relations with Indonesian Workers in Korea (TKI) and Indonesian Embassy(KBRI). I’ll spend some time to write about PERPIKA; the people in charge and the organization body.

Back to the mosque, since its Ramadhan, I couldnt see any people queueing for Turkish Kebab. That is the best kebab I ever had in my life. I often bought it every week for my lunch and so other moslems too. If you try once, then I guarantee you will get yourself addicted to his kebab. It so damn delicious and yummy.

Before I left the mosque heading my way back to school again, a guy from KBRI reminds me that tomorrow (every saturday during Ramadhan) they will organize a fasting remitance (buka puasa bersama) with magrib-taraweh prayers and invite all students/workers to join. It’s great and a very good opportunity to meet all students-workers-KBRI in one package. I should put this on my schedule tomorrow though.

I went home with my school mates from Maldives, he told a funny story that keeps me laughing all the time in subway. As soon as I get off from bus, I directly went to library, as always, my ritual life from this past 7 months started from library. So I just started my day. And here I am, again, drowned in bunch of books, lecture materials, case study and problem sets. For some people they start their weekend seeing a movie or hang arround in coffee shop, but it wouldnt happened to me. Not in this very short time.

Well, I love my life, and hope you had a good time too. Have a great weekend guys !!